Waiting Well

There’s a strange tension that comes with being single as a Christian woman.

People often assume that if you talk about wanting love, joke about finding your person, or have tried dating apps, it must mean you’re desperate or “hungry” for a relationship. But that’s not always true. Sometimes it simply means your heart still believes in love while also trusting God enough not to force it.

And there’s a difference.

I think people often view singleness in extremes. Either you should constantly be searching for someone… or you should completely stop caring and “just focus on God.” I’ve heard all the opinions. “Only look in church.” “Don’t date online.” “Don’t think about it at all.” “When you stop looking, he’ll appear.”

And honestly? None of those perspectives are necessarily wrong. They just may not be the path God has for you.

Because this journey is personal.

What I’m learning in this season is that God is less concerned with me obsessively finding “the one” and more concerned with shaping me into the woman He’s calling me to be. He’s teaching me patience. Discernment. Trust. Timing. And maybe hardest of all… how to truly be okay alone.

Not bitter. Not closed off. Not pretending I don’t desire companionship. But genuinely okay.

That doesn’t mean I never think about love. It doesn’t mean I don’t notice someone attractive or wonder what it would be like to share life with my person someday. It simply means I’m no longer willing to sacrifice my peace, my standards, or my relationship with God just to avoid loneliness.

Because loneliness can make us entertain things we normally wouldn’t.

It can make us question our worth when something doesn’t work out. It can tempt us to settle for almost, for potential, for inconsistency, for attention disguised as intention. It can make us believe having someone is better than waiting for the right someone.

But God keeps reminding me:

Just because something is available does not mean it’s assigned.

And maybe if you’re in a season like this too, it’s worth asking yourself some hard but honest questions:

Who am I becoming while I wait?

Am I seeking validation or true connection?

Am I chasing attention because I’m lonely, or am I genuinely ready for a God-centered relationship?

Am I asking God to send me someone while ignoring the areas He’s still trying to heal within me?

Am I settling simply because I’m tired of waiting?

Those questions aren’t always comfortable. I know they haven’t been for me. But growth rarely happens in comfort.

Sometimes God allows the waiting because there’s still work to do within us — not because we are unworthy of love, but because He loves us enough to prepare us for the kind of relationship that won’t pull us away from Him.

And sometimes the waiting reveals something beautiful: that we are capable of building a full life even before someone joins it.

A life filled with purpose. Friendships. Motherhood. Healing. Laughter. Faith. Peace.

Because a relationship should add to your life — not become your entire identity.

Could I date just anyone? Probably. Maybe. But I don’t believe God is calling me into a season of serial dating and emotional exhaustion. I believe He’s calling me deeper into Him first. Into healing. Into wisdom. Into understanding who I am, what I truly want, and what I should no longer tolerate.

And that kind of clarity only comes when you stop letting the noise of everyone else’s opinions become louder than God’s voice.

The truth is, wanting love is not weakness. Desiring partnership is not lack of faith. God created us for connection. But there’s also something incredibly powerful about learning that your life can still be full, purposeful, joyful, and meaningful while you wait.

Because if God truly has someone for you, you do not have to strive, chase, manipulate, or abandon yourself to receive what He has ordained.

So for now, I’m learning to hold both things at once:

Hope and contentment. Desire and patience. Openness and discernment.

I’m keeping my eyes open to what God may place in front of me, while also trusting Him enough not to grab onto something He never intended for me.

And maybe that’s what waiting well actually looks like.

Not sitting around hopelessly. Not frantically searching. But walking closely enough with God that when the right person comes, you recognize peace instead of confusion.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” — Proverbs 3:5-6

With grace and honesty, — Naureen